PNN will pick one of us to lead the conversation about the triumphs and travail
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Oh relationships - where to start? So many kinds, types, attributes, outcomes. Regardless of whether its between family, friends, or a significant other, EVERYONE has the same qualms, the same troubling thoughts, the same crazy ideas that bother them until they're about to burst. And let's be honest - who really gushes about all of the good stuff all the time? None of my friends or family, that's for sure! I've done my share of dating - some good, some ugly and most that make for comical stories around the kitchen table the next morning or over margaritas at dinner. My friends and I have gone through breakups, fights, engagements, distance, affairs - you name it. And I'm usually the one they all come to when its time to vent, and I like to think I give some pretty good advice...now if only I could take my own advice, because that is another story in itself...
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Now that I have a few years under my belt and have been a listening board for all of my friends... I know that we are all different yet so similar in so many ways. We may handle situations a little differently, but some how we feel the same way inside. It might be true "we might all be sisters."
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My ex-husband got married the other day. This is number four for him. When he left our family in 2005, I was relieved, as it had been a marriage filled with drama, infidelity (his), abuse(his) and loneliness(mine.) Then why did I feel so blue and cast aside when his wedding day arrived? I think its because I really like the institution of marriage and the security, comfort and companionship that it can offer. This was often missing in my marriage, but I liked having the ILLUSION that we were a happy, connected family. I never wanted to be one of those "divorced people." Yet, I am content in my solitude now, and for the first time in my life, can really be alone with myself. I see now the mistakes I made, and the tradeoffs and selling out I did for financial security. I have my daughter, and she is a delight. I am surrounded by loving friends and family, and except for worrying about how I'm going to pay my gas bill this month on time, I am fairly financially secure. Yipee!
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I am on my 2nd husband and it took me until I was in my 30's to realize that when you grow up no father around you have no idea what it takes to be a real man - so what's a girl supposed to grow up and look for??? I found Mr. Right and the road to him was anything but easy. We survived a slew of craziness including homelessness, gambling and addiction as well as the death of 2 of our children. There was never any indicator that he was perfect I knew he was far from it, But the thing I did know that I never got with any of the other (too many ) men in my previous life is that this man really and truly LOVES me and when I lay down at night and he's there to keep me SAFE,& would never hurt me ~ THAT is close enough to perfect for me. Then I start wondering like the lady before me- why don't I have a crap load of drama- why are we sooo blissfully happy? Why isn't there anything wrong? He does it too- we talk about it then laugh about it. Crazy. Miracles and Blessing
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this is a continuation: Adapting through my twenties, the one thing that never changed in that relationship was the two people involved. He is always going to be who he is, and I am always going to be me. Our volatile combination of personalities never won over our similar values and aspirations. So I called the wedding off two weeks prior to our date. The ideas of settling, of merely coping, of having the constantly nagging thought of others who may or may not exist around the corner were not alright with me. And now, having found someone who truly is my compliment, my life partner and mate, and who turns me on intellectually and sexually, the notion that I had been trying to fit a square peg into a round hole for a decade is mind-boggling.
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Articles
Sally G. | 14 minutes ago
sgd25.pnn.com
There's a lovely inspirational poem written by John McLeod called, If Home is Where the Heart Is ... ~ and I love the way it feels when you read it. I've thought about it...
Hali | about 11 hours ago
hali.pnn.com
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Hali | about 11 hours ago
hali.pnn.com
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motherofmany | about 21 hours ago
motherofmany.pnn.com
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Summer Star | 1 day ago
espressogirl.pnn.com
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frannygirlnaz | 2 days ago
frannygirlnaz.pnn.com
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awaitingbloom | 2 days ago
mrisley.pnn.com
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wearmanyhats | 2 days ago
wearmanyhats.pnn.com
I rarely look back. The Man Who Puts Up With Me, however, is willing to be retrospective often. When I got up one morning recently, I found him rereading my PNN posts fro...
awaitingbloom | 2 days ago
mrisley.pnn.com
I promise I'll stop dwelling on this soon. I do really want to move on. I just want to say that I'm glad I'm not the only one who would assume that a ring was coming very...
wearmanyhats | 3 days ago
wearmanyhats.pnn.com
"My mom's been spending a lot of time with her boyfriend in Mexico. She hasn't been paying the bills, and last week they turned off the electricity. I can't tell you the ...
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