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I have been reading the stories and all i can say is, relationships are hard and they take time. I believe that I am young and probably have never experienced a true true love. I have never been in a long relationship but those shortest that i have been, I have learnt that some of people are not worth wasting our time. Like my ex, when we met four months ago, he was a perfect guy with potential. then he turned out to be irresponsible womaniser and broke as hell. I never knew what he does with his pay because he couldn't even pay his rent.
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judithblairbrown, while you didn't necessarily elaborate on your story, I am inclined to agree on the idea of ending things. We often find ourselves bewitched by love regardless of how incomplete the relationship may feel. Then, without even knowing, we become dependent on one another, and it's truly a hassle releasing yourself from that web. Often times we become too emotionally unstable and fixated on this person to stop and truly realize that we're in an unhealthy relationship. You've made the first step here, now you must continue on the path - as difficult as it may be. Good luck!
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Monique calls and says she's "not sure" she should break up with her on- off-again "friend." I go, "If he's just a friend, what's to break up?" She was miffed. "You know what I mean...we're more than friends." "Honey, you're SO not," I said. "If he was really your man, there'd be no need to call before you dropped by. You'd just drop by." "Well that's because his son visits often and he doesn't want to confuse him because I'm not his mother." "Right. And how old is his son?" "He's 12." "12...and he still doesn't get that Mom and Dad aren't a couple? Okay, let's move on...what about the "drive-bys?" "I don't do drive-bys...he just has to leave early to make it on time for work." "Why doesn't he just bring a change of clothes?" "Because his son is home alone." More lame excuses. "So he leaves his 12 yr old alone all night and sneaks back in by morning?...Have you MET his son?" A pregnant pause... "Yeah sweetie, it's time to break up."
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You know what longdistancemove? The stories that have made the greatest impact in my life have never been the pretty ones. I tend to gravitate to stories of personal growth and development ... stories where the heroine is faced with adversity and has to dig way deep inside to come out the other side. And the heroine ALWAYS comes out stronger, wiser and more enlightened in the end. Sometimes circumstances present themselves in our lives to awaken dormant qualities within us that once activated, showcase our shining essence in all its glory. I'm sorry you're going through such a difficult time ~ and I send you many wishes to find your inner fortitude to see you through.
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Relationships. They're like that old joke, "...can't live with 'em...can't shoot 'em" - or something like that. We all have our sob love stories; I certainly do. Here I am, mid-40's, never married although I've been in love with the same man for 20 years. Twenty years! We've grown so close that my child (from a previous relationship) is his child, and his child became my own after the death of the child's mother. His mother is my best friend; his family is my family. And yet, after 20 years, just today I made it my resolve to end this ongoing fantasy of mine. Because realities aren't always conducive to the thrill of romance...and vice versa. In short, "reality sucks." Today I analyzed my past with this man: The disagreements (not many and never violent); the money (O' the money!); the selfishness on his part, the selflessness on mine. And I realize I've been the wrong one all along: I became his enabler, and to love him, I must say goodbye. Yeah, reality sucks.
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